cherryblossomsSpring is always a season that moves me to wonder and praise, this year more than most.  I watch the world burst with joy and beauty as God brings delicate, abundant life to branches that appeared to be dead — riots of diaphanous pink cherry blossoms, bright yellow forsythia, delicate redbuds.  I look at these and my heart dances to see the joy of creation (and God’s joy in his creation) on display in this annual resurrection — life from death.

I watched this year and felt like my own body was going through the same thing, like God was bringing life and healing to my body which has been so damaged.  There’s unspeakable joy in this for me as I have seen God healing me over these weeks and months, as my hope grows for what may come.  I can’t put it into words. 

If you’ve followed my writing or my various blogs over the years, you know I’ve been sick for a long time.  Thirteen years, actually.  (I last blogged about it here.)  I first got sick on Labor Day weekend of 2000. I finally got diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease in March of 2006 and began what became a seven-year journey toward healing.

The unremitting fatigue (my main symptom) has impeded my work and suffocated so much of what could have been. For long stretches — months, years — I was left incapable of anything meaningful, of anything other than sleeping or watching TV.  When I’ve dropped out of writing or blogging for long stretches, that’s been why.

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I always knew that God was capable of healing me, and often prayed specifically for miraculous healing. When Jesus didn’t appear so that I could touch his robes and be healed, when I saw no miracles, I concluded that God was healing me through my doctor’s treatments, and tried to be as faithful as I could to what was an incredibly rigorous regimen (which I hope to blog about later). Years of antibiotics, both oral and IV, hundreds of supplements, detoxing, restricted diets, three and a half years worth of supplemental weekly IV treatments — a long, long road.

And now I’m gaining strength in ways that feel miraculous. I’ve been able to cut back or cut out many of my medications. My mind is so much more functional. I’m making to-do lists and it feels like Christmas.  Being able to plan things I want to do with some hope of actually doing them — this is unspeakably good.

My healing journey isn’t over.  I’ve learned not to presume upon the future, but I’m so thankful for what I’m seeing every day, and so hopeful for what may come. Thanks for sharing my joy!